btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
