ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
