You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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