How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
