I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am available for nakedness
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
