only if we run a train.
done.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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