Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
