an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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