never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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