sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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