i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
