you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
