A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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