Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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