Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
