Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Randomize
