guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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