So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
