Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
