You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
porn star boner night. come get it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
