she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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