So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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