oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
