i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
