Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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