what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
