Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
