im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
