I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
