You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Houston, we have a squirter
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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