If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
im holly from the hills drunk
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
