So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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