if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
