i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
