and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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