Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
