im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
