I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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