he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's get the cat blown out
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
