Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
