Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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