I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
