I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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