i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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