Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
