suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
