We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
