plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Floor bacon is actually really good
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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