i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
