brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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