My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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