In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
