my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
