All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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