she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
PANTIES FOUND
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