Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
cat food counts as protein by the way
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
