i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
